Providing compassionate in-home and out-patient care in Plymouth, NH

The Journey Through Loss & Grief-New Support Group Starting!

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health Starting New Grief Support Group Session: ‘The Journey Through Loss and Grief’

Throughout the ages of humankind, storytellers have spun tales which have fascinated the minds and imaginations of folks young and old as ways to help them discover their own inner strengths to confront the difficulties of life as we come to experience them. Probably no emotional journey is more challenging and difficult than that of loss and the feelings of grief that accompany it.

We do not have to wait long for such experiences. The boy next door, out of innocent curiosity drops a rock on a plastic rattle belonging to the little girl upstairs to see what makes its noise. The girl has lost her toy. The boy gets punished. Years move on. There are fun things that happen, but then the boy doesn’t make the softball team, or the girl doesn’t get the part in the play. Life moves on. She wins a prize in field hockey. Pets die. Boys or girls we develop crushes on don’t feel the same affection for us. Then we leave home to find our own paths in life. And on and on and on and on.

In between the good things, there are other things that hurt us, and we make our way on our journey, most of the time probably not knowing that we’re learning how to handle our losses and composing our own personal story. And then someone truly special we love is lost to us- by natural death, an accident, or by a violent crime, and our heart and soul hurt terribly and somehow, we need to move through all of that hurt if we are to continue to live and face a big challenge we’ve never had to face before. It helps to think about what we may have learned along the way so far and if that can help us now. Life is no fairy tale. But each of us has an interesting story.Guy Tillson, Hospice Chaplain, Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health, Plymouth, NH

The next six-week session, grief and bereavement group “The Journey Through Loss and Grief” offered by Pemi-Baker Hospice and Home Health will begin on Tuesday, September 10, 2024, at 10:30am in the upstairs art room (accessible by elevator) at the Plymouth Regional Senior Center. Please arrive before 10:15am to get a parking slip for the dashboard of your car from the receptionist at the front desk. There is no cost for participation.We are experiencing increased demand for participation. Please contact Guy Tillson, Hospice Chaplain, via email at gtillson@pbhha.org or by phone at 603 536-2232 to pre-register.

~written by Guy Tillson

Loss & Grief: Some basics in processing personal grief

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health is offering a FREE grief and loss support series starting Tuesday, February 15th running through March 29th, 2022. Late morning and early evening times will accommodate all schedules and we invite anyone experiencing a personal loss to join us.

Since Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ pioneering work On Death and Dying in 1969, research and study on the very human experiences of grief and loss have come a very long way. The “five stages of grief” entered quickly into the storehouse of wisdom in the popular culture. Many people can tick off “Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance” when asked about the process of grieving. As helpful as these categories can be in opening up discussion, the truth is that “stage theory” has fallen on hard times in psychological studies.

Put simply, life experience is much too dynamic and deeply personal to fall into neat and progressive stages that follow one upon the other in predictable fashion. Kubler-Ross herself did not see her theory as being that way. It took our characteristically American linear way of thinking to do that. Generally speaking, we like things neat, but life is messy. Over the course of almost four decades, other theorists have included additional features in grieving, such as “shock”, “guilt”, “retreating”, “reflection”, “isolation”, and “working through”. There is a lot to consider if we are in the thick of trying to come to terms with a significant loss that has come into our life.

In a practical effort to begin to explore the intricate web of responses and reactions that human beings experience following upon significant life-losses, the Hospice program of Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health in Plymouth will be offering a series on “Loss and Grief: Some Basics” as part of its Bereavement services. The series consists of six sessions. Each session will include a brief educational presentation, a reflective exercise to assist participants in focusing on their experience of loss, and a time for sharing, questions, and discussion. Sessions will include such topics as: “My Concept of Loss”, “Evaluating My Loss”, “Coping Skills”, “Manifestations of Grief”, “What Helps and What Hurts?”, “Acceptance”, “My New Reality”, and “Recognizing My Strengths”.

The six week series will be offered on Tuesdays at two different times: a late morning group 11am-12:30pm or an evening group 5:30pm -7pm. In-person participation is limited to five people for each group; there will be hand sanitizer, socially-distanced seating and masks are required. Please pre-register with Guy Tillson, Bereavement Coordinator by email (gtillson@pbhha.org) or by phone (603-536-2232). Pre-registration required by Tuesday, February 8th, 2022. Ask about possible accommodations virtually via ZOOM.

With over 55 years of experience, serving clients from 29 towns in central and northern New Hampshire, Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health is committed to creating healthier communities. Services include at-home healthcare (VNA), hospice and palliative care, and Community Programs including: American Red Cross CPR/AED/FA, Caregiver Support Groups and Grief and Bereavement Support Groups. Providing compassionate care with experienced staff who are trained, certified professionals in the business because of their hearts. In your time of need, we’re right where you need us.

Pemi-Baker is located at 101 Boulder Point Drive, Suite 3, Plymouth, NH. To contact us please call: 603-536-2232 or email: info@pbhha.org  Like our Facebook Page: @PBCH4

Loss and Grief Support Groups for the Holiday Season

Because the holiday season can be a difficult time for persons who have endured a loss, Pemi-Baker Community Health will be offering TWO support groups in the months of November and December.  These groups are open to anyone who has experienced ANY type of loss- the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, relocation to an unfamiliar area, or the passing of a beloved pet.  The groups will offer an opportunity to listen and converse with others.

Both groups will be held in the Conference Room at Pemi-Baker Community Health at 101 Boulder Point in Plymouth, NH.  For convenience, two times are offered: 11:00am and 5:30pm.  Both groups will meet on the following dates:  Tuesday, November 23 and 30, December 7, 14, 21, and 28, 2021.  Because of ongoing COVID19 precautions, groups are limited to FIVE in-person participants.  We will also try to accommodate virtual participants via ZOOM.

In-person participants MUST wear masks and sanitize their hands upon entering the Conference Room.  There will be distanced seating. There is NO cost for attendance but you MUST pre-register by Wednesday, November 17, 2021.  Registration will be on a “first come, first served” basis.  To register, please contact Guy Tillson, Bereavement Coordinator, at gtillson@pbhha.org or by leaving a voicemail at (603) 536-2232.  We hope that these offerings will assist those who need some support and living through “the holiday blues”.

With over 50 years of experience, serving clients from 28 towns in central and northern New Hampshire, Pemi-Baker Community Health is committed to creating healthier communities. Services include at-home healthcare (VNA), hospice and palliative care, on-site physical and occupational therapy and aquatic therapy in their 90-degree therapy pool. Providing compassionate care with experienced staff who are trained, certified professionals in the business because of their hearts. In your time of need, we’re right where you need us.

~Written by Guy Tillson, MA, MDiv, Hospice Chaplain

Grief and Bereavement Support Group- 6 Week Session

Pemi-Baker Community Health is pleased to resume offering its in-person community-based support group for grief and bereavement. We will be starting a 6 week series with meetings being held at the Boulder Point Conference room of Speare Memorial Hospital in Plymouth.

Because of COVID19 restrictions on social gatherings, many persons are living with unresolved and unprocessed issues of grief and loss due to abbreviated funeral or memorial services. We hope this will be a first step toward helping people come to terms with that bereavement and other issues of loss that have been neglected during the height of the pandemic. We will be making use of GRIEF ONE DAY AT A TIME by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD. Dr. Wolfelt is a noted grief educator, having written several books about healing personal grief. His expertise derives from his compassionate interaction and caring service with mourners, listening to and reflecting on their responses to loss. He is the Founding Director of The Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado. Although our group is offered for support rather than clinical intervention, the use of reading materials for the purpose of self-care and personal growth and healing is sometimes called bibliotherapy. The books will be made available at our first session of the group. We ask, if possible, for group members to make a donation toward defraying the cost of purchasing the books which group members will be able to keep for themselves. No one will be turned away if they are unable to make a donation.

Grief and Bereavement Support Group (Six Week Session)

Starting: Tuesday, August 3rd, 2021- September 7th, 2021 (11:30am-1pm)

The first session of the Grief and Bereavement Group will meet on Tuesday, August 3, 2021, at 11:30am. We will meet in the Conference Room at the Boulder Point site of Speare Memorial Hospital. Participants will need to comply with checking in there. We are limiting the group to ten participants in order to allow for ample social distancing in the meeting area. Participants are also asked to have masks with them for use. At our first meeting, we will review some basic guidelines for group participation, introduce ourselves to each other, and share the nature of the loss that brought us to the group. Using Dr. Wolfelt’s book, we will look at the meditation for that day, letting that be the springboard for our discussion and interaction. To prepare for the next session, the “homework” for participants will be to read each daily meditation throughout the following week. Our discussion at each session will emerge from our responses and reactions to the week’s meditations- what we liked or did not like, what was helpful or not. The energy of the group will determine the length of the gathering, but we will conclude before 1:00pm. The Grief and Bereavement Group will meet for six sessions, concluding on September 7, 2021.  After some weeks’ break, we hope to be able to begin a new Grief and Bereavement Group on October 12, 2021.

You MUST pre-register in order to participate.  Please do so BEFORE WEDNESDAY, July 21, 2021. To register, please contact the facilitator, Guy Tillson, PBCH Hospice Spiritual Counselor and Bereavement Counselor, online via email at gtillson@pbhha.org or by phone at 536-2232, XT 318.  He will get back to you as promptly as possible. If you would prefer to participate virtually by ZOOM, please indicate that, and we will attempt to accommodate you. The group is limited to TEN persons, so registrations will be accepted on a “first come, first served” basis.

~written by Guy Tillson

Grieving Cut Short-helpful ways to cope with loss during this pandemic

As we are enduring this COVID-19 pandemic, a memory from my youth appeared in my mind a few days ago.  In 1964, I got my first real job- one that I actually got a paycheck for.  I was a sophomore in high school.  Minimum wage was $1.00 an hour at that time!  I was hired as the “library page” for our village library.  Every weekday, after school, I worked for an hour, putting the returned books back on the shelves and relocating the ones that browsers (not yet a computer term) had misplaced.  One of the titles that piqued my interest was RATS, LICE AND HISTORY: A Chronicle of Disease, Plagues and Pestilence by Hans Zinsser.  It was first published in 1935, so it was probably already thought of as “an old title” by 1964.  It was written intelligently and with scientific detail, but its author purposely wrote in a style that could easily be understood by the general public.  The book was the eighth best-selling title in non-fiction noted by THE NEW YORK TIMES for 1935.  A Wikipedia search will also inform you that several medical professionals credited the work to inspiring them to enter upon their chosen profession.  The book focuses on the history of the disease of typhus and its deadly effects.  It has been regarded as a biography of an illness.  Besides Dr. Zinsser’s work, I was also reminded on Edgar Allen Poe’s THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH and Thomas Mann’s DEATH IN VENICE, fictional works that deal with similar phenomena. 

We are already feeling the loss our normal routine and activity due to the precautions necessitated by the appearance of this virus.  Staying at home is quite the discipline.  In my current profession as Hospice Chaplain and Bereavement Counselor, I cannot help but be moved deeply, even to the point of tears, as I watch the nightly news.  A nurse in an urban hospital companions a man who is dying and becomes the messenger to his family, assuring them that he died peacefully.  They were unable to be with him because of preventative precautions.  A prohibition on closeness when closeness is most needed.  Bodies are transferred to refrigerated trucks, and I wonder how long it will be before their families can claim them- if that is even a possibility. 

Other persons continue to die of other things in this time, but this virus impacts on everyone.  Two Sundays ago, the forty-nine year-old middle son of acquaintances of mine died of a cardiac aneurysm.  Speaking with his mother, I learned they were permitted only a brief prayer service at an outside shrine on the grounds of their church.  Only his parents, his spouse and children, and his two siblings with their spouses and children were present.  This very popular, well-loved, and gregarious family are bereft of the very social supports that could help to assuage their sudden and shocking loss.  We are all touched by this experience and may very well carry the heaviness of it within ourselves for a long while.

In times when we are deprived of the comfort of social interaction in the face of loss and grief, small things become important.  If you have lost someone during this time (whether or not from COVID-19), perhaps these suggestions might help.  Create a small sacred space in your home to honor your loved one.  If it helps to place a photo of your loved one there, do that.  If there are other mementos, use those as well.  Use candles safely.  Hannaford is still selling flowers- and we can still access food markets.  If you have a spiritual practice or a religious tradition, make use of its words and rituals.  If your loved one enjoyed music, listen to it.  If they delighted in favorite foods, cook a meal to honor their memory.  See if you can stream a movie they enjoyed. 

If you are staying at home with family members, cherish the intimacy this time can offer you.  Reach out to others who knew your loved one- email, texting, phone calls, or FaceTime.  If you need comfort and help, ask for it.  Make use of what can be available to you now, even in these extraordinary circumstances.  Above all, allow yourself your feelings and your expression of them.  Tears and groans are perfectly acceptable.  I highly recommend (what I call) “therapeutic screams”- inside the car is the best place.  Hopefully, we will find a time in our future when what we have not been able to do now will be able to be done later.  So many people are assuring us that we will come through this- and we will!   By the way, Dr. Zinsser’s book is still available!

~By Guy Tillson, MDiv, MA-Pemi-Baker Community Health Hospice Chaplain & Bereavement Counselor

The Full Impact of Grief

The word “bereavement” is something that we normally associate with our experience of the death of someone we have known, loved, and cared for.  The word, however, is actually connected with the adjective “bereft” which means “deprived of” or “left without”, so it can actually refer to any experience of loss, whether small or great, temporary or permanent.  The great pioneer in the field of death and dying, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, frequently said, “All of life is loss”.  Our experience of life is filled with change and change moves us from various sets of experiences to others. 

When I found it needful and helpful for myself to attend a Bereavement Group following the deaths of my father (2011) and my brother (2013), the grief counselor who facilitated the group said, “A loss is any experience of the absence of someone or something that has been a part of your world.  That absence has changed your vision and perception of your world as you had known it and your experience of it.”

If you think about that for a bit, we are experiencing loss frequently in our lives on all sorts of levels.  These can be seemingly small and temporary.  There is a commercial currently running on television of a thirty- or forty-something year old white collar worker (wearing a necktie) probably just ready to leave for work.  He is peering at the faucet in his kitchen sink which is NOT running.  His exasperated remark is, “THIS isn’t on the schedule!”  Maybe to make this more personal, consider your own reaction and behavior when you cannot find your car keys!  Relatively small, insignificant, and temporary losses, perhaps- but they alter the individual’s perception of an efficient and smoothly-running world.

When we do endure the death of someone we have loved, or if we are the victim of a crime or a natural disaster, or if we have lost our job, or if we are coming to terms with the loss of our personal powers through illness or aging, we are in a state of bereavement whether we are conscious of it or accepting of it or not.  Kubler-Ross also used the word “denial” to describe an experience where we avoid recognizing the loss.  It is a way of defending ourselves against our own feelings of powerlessness in not knowing how to handle the change of our world-view.  Sadly, many persons decide simply to “Soldier on” or “Return to business as usual”.

After a death, a very common reaction is “It’s all over now.  I don’t need to bother with anything more.”   But loss has far-reaching effects on our lives, touching on our emotions, our physical health, our material and financial security, our social interactions and relationships with others, our occupational and recreational involvements, and our spirituality or life-direction.  These effects can be uncomfortable, stressful, and even debilitating.

Beginning on Monday, February 3, 2020, Pemi-Baker Community Health will be offering a new Bereavement Group series entitled “THE FULL IMPACT OF GRIEF”.  Each session will look at a particular aspect of our lives to gain a greater understanding of how our loss has affected that area of our existence.  We will explore ways we can process our responses and reactions.  The group will meet in the Grady Conference Room at Speare Memorial Hospital, beginning promptly at 12:30pm and concluding by 2:00pm.  The group will meet weekly through Monday, March 16, 2020.  There is no fee for attendance.

Pemi-Baker Community Health will also be resuming its monthly Drop-In Bereavement Group which meets on the LAST WEDNESDAY of each month in the Main Conference Room at Pemi-Baker’s offices at Boulder Point in Plymouth.  This group is less formal with no set curriculum or session topics, though take-home reading materials are made available.  The first session of the Drop-In Bereavement group for this new year is on Wednesday, January 29, 2020, beginning promptly at 5:30pm and wrapping up by 7:00pm.  Again, there is no fee for attendance.

Both Groups are facilitated by Guy Tillson, MDiv, MA, Bereavement Counselor and Hospice Spiritual Counselor for Pemi-Baker Community Health.  He may be contacted at gtillson@pbhha.org or at 603 536-2232, Extension 206, if you have any questions or concerns.

~by Guy Tillson

The Rewards of Being a Hospice Volunteer

While I was familiar with Hospice for many years, I only have been a hospice volunteer with Pemi Baker Hospice and Home Health (PBHHH) since October 2021.  When I retired, I began searching for volunteer work that would allow me to give back to my community.  A newsletter from PBHHH arrived in my email announcing training for hospice volunteers.  My family had experienced the need for hospice twice, once in Ohio and again in Florida.  The relief my family and I felt when the hospice volunteers arrived was beyond measure.  I want to bring the same kind of assistance to others.  PBHHH given me that opportunity by providing professional training with knowledgeable nurses, doctors, social workers and other health care professionals.  Their guidance has enabled me to meet the challenges of being s hospice volunteer, and I am very glad that I did it.

Connie C.

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health
2022-06-27T12:20:25-04:00

Connie C.

While I was familiar with Hospice for many years, I only have been a hospice volunteer with Pemi Baker Hospice and Home Health (PBHHH) since October 2021.  When I retired, I began searching for volunteer work that would allow me to give back to my community.  A newsletter from PBHHH arrived in my email announcing training for hospice volunteers.  My family had experienced the need for hospice twice, once in Ohio and again in Florida.  The relief my family and I felt when the hospice volunteers arrived was beyond measure.  I want to bring the same kind of assistance to others.  PBHHH given me that opportunity by providing professional training with knowledgeable nurses, doctors, social workers and other health care professionals.  Their guidance has enabled me to meet the challenges of being s hospice volunteer, and I am very glad that I did it.

You give of yourselves day & night without end!

To the Pemi-Baker Hospice Team--Words really can't express my feelings-

Your help during one of the most difficult times of my life is SO appreciated.  I'm so grateful that because of you, Doug was able to get his wish not to spend the last of his days in a hospital, but at home with those of us who loved him.

And to be constantly reassured that if I needed anything you would be there-oh my gosh-ANYTIME!  Well, you people need to know how much you are appreciated.  You give of yourselves day & night without end!  God Bless you and thank you!

Pam O.

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health
2020-06-11T07:31:14-04:00

Pam O.

To the Pemi-Baker Hospice Team--Words really can't express my feelings- Your help during one of the most difficult times of my life is SO appreciated.  I'm so grateful that because of you, Doug was able to get his wish not to spend the last of his days in a hospital, but at home with those of us who loved him. And to be constantly reassured that if I needed anything you would be there-oh my gosh-ANYTIME!  Well, you people need to know how much you are appreciated.  You give of yourselves day & night without end!  God Bless you and thank you!

“My home physical therapy was fantastic.”

Pemi-Baker provided very good home therapy. All their therapists were pleasant, helpful in offering suggestions for better functioning after surgery, and practiced good health protocols. They were also very prompt in showing up for scheduled appointments.

Elizabeth B.

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health
2019-11-07T12:26:12-05:00

Elizabeth B.

Pemi-Baker provided very good home therapy. All their therapists were pleasant, helpful in offering suggestions for better functioning after surgery, and practiced good health protocols. They were also very prompt in showing up for scheduled appointments.

“Your generosity with your time and your loving care is appreciated more than you know.”

Thank you to everyone who played a role in taking care of my mother and giving her the freedom of remaining home while suffering from dementia. Your generosity with your time and your loving care is appreciated more than you know. A special thanks goes to Macayla and Colleen, who visited her on a regular basis, and to Lauren who was helpful in connecting us with state services.

Terry W.

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health
2020-01-17T12:43:19-05:00

Terry W.

Thank you to everyone who played a role in taking care of my mother and giving her the freedom of remaining home while suffering from dementia. Your generosity with your time and your loving care is appreciated more than you know. A special thanks goes to Macayla and Colleen, who visited her on a regular basis, and to Lauren who was helpful in connecting us with state services.

“Everyone is so understanding supportive and kind.”

From the director to the nurses to the health care workers.  So cheerful, helpful and accommodating.  This is our second time receiving assistance from Pemi-Baker and we are very lucky to have found this amazing group!  Thank you for your excellent care and compassion.

Leila L.

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health
2020-01-17T13:19:24-05:00

Leila L.

From the director to the nurses to the health care workers.  So cheerful, helpful and accommodating.  This is our second time receiving assistance from Pemi-Baker and we are very lucky to have found this amazing group!  Thank you for your excellent care and compassion.

“Pemi-Baker Hospice services provided kind, professional, competent services every step of the way-and even vaccinated us all for Covid/19!””

Our primary nurse, Fred, was outstanding, and others who filled in (Cathy, Penny, Colleen) were wonderful and a credit to your organization. Fred, you were amazing, not only for mom but for my husband and I as well. I will forever be grateful for your support, wisdom, humor and kindness, all along the end of life journey for mom. I am so deeply thankful that circumstances conspired such that mom was able to die at home, and your role made that time as seamless as it could be made.

Paula W.

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health
2020-01-17T12:31:13-05:00

Paula W.

Our primary nurse, Fred, was outstanding, and others who filled in (Cathy, Penny, Colleen) were wonderful and a credit to your organization. Fred, you were amazing, not only for mom but for my husband and I as well. I will forever be grateful for your support, wisdom, humor and kindness, all along the end of life journey for mom. I am so deeply thankful that circumstances conspired such that mom was able to die at home, and your role made that time as seamless as it could be made.

Your courage during Covid-19 does not go unnoticed

Hello. We just wanted to take a moment and let you know how much we truly appreciate all that you do for us in these trying times. You're commitment to the health of our community is a special thing, and we know that you are working under stressful conditions due to the Covid 19 crisis. We realize that in order for you to treat those who may be ill, you are putting you're own lives and even you're own families lives in danger, and that is truly a courageous and honorable thing to do. We want you to know that it does not go unnoticed. Thank you all for all that you do!

Bryan and Renee C., and our mom Joan

Pemi-Baker Hospice & Home Health
2020-06-11T06:27:43-04:00

Bryan and Renee C., and our mom Joan

Hello. We just wanted to take a moment and let you know how much we truly appreciate all that you do for us in these trying times. You're commitment to the health of our community is a special thing, and we know that you are working under stressful conditions due to the Covid 19 crisis. We realize that in order for you to treat those who may be ill, you are putting you're own lives and even you're own families lives in danger, and that is truly a courageous and honorable thing to do. We want you to know that it does not go unnoticed. Thank you all for all that you do!
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